Do you avoid getting attached in relationship? Therapist decodes reasons

Commitment issue is a recurring problem faced by the people of our generation. People often feel the need to be attached to someone, but they do not feel like taking the first step in committing to them for a longer time. However, often the fear of commitment is driven by fear of abandonment and childhood trauma. “Recognising why you might push people away can be a powerful revelation. If you’ve been hurt before, opening up can seem like an impossible risk. You might have learned to rely on yourself, believing that needing others makes you weak, or even feeling overwhelmed by intense emotions and unsure how to handle them. These patterns, often shaped by past experiences or childhood unmet needs, can keep you from forming the deeper connections you truly crave,” wrote Therapist Shaurya Gahlawat.
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A post shared by Shaurya Gahlawat | Mental Health Therapist (@therapywithshaurya)
When we carry the trauma of being ridiculed or criticised for being vulnerable, we tend to shut ourselves and put up a string frontier. This further prevents us from seeking the emotional warmth that we need in a relationship.
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When our childhood needs go unmet by our parents and caregivers, we tend to grow up to be adults who suffer from the behavioural pattern of not being able to trust or rely on anyone. We refrain from sharing our needs with others.
When we had to fend for ourselves our entire lives, we take pride in being independent and emotionally strong. Hence, we start to see the need to be attached to someone as a sign of weakness.
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When we start to see that emotions are getting intense, we tend to withdraw ourselves from that relationship. Instead of addressing the problems, we tend to shut down and refrain from communicating i a healthy way.